Whether they come from comedies, superhero blockbusters or Christmas movies, memorable funny quotes have the power to stay with us forever. They’re turned into memes, they’re used to crack jokes with friends, and they make for great comebacks for any occasion.
When it comes to the funniest ones of all time, one only needs to turn to the classics! From Airplane to Mean Girls, we’ve gathered the most hilarious movie quotes to ever have graced the big screen.
We dare you to read these without spitting out your popcorn. You’ll be smiling for days…
1. “Surely, you can’t be serious.” – “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”
A quote about: Being dead serious.
Use it when: Someone calls you Shirley.
This hilarious play on words belongs to Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen), who in this scene asks former pilot Ted Striker, to his dismay, if he can fly the plane after both pilots were hit by a bad case of food poisoning. Striker can’t believe his ears, but Rumack is dead serious, and he doesn’t like being called a woman’s name either. (Watch)
2. “They hate us cuz they anus.”
The Interview (2014)
A quote about: Haters
Use it when: They’re getting on your last nerve.
Despite its controversy, The Interview was undeniably a funny comedy. The film had several laughable moments and unforgettable quotes including this one which sees Rapoport and Skylark get into a hilarious discussion about haters. In typical Seth Rogan and James Franco style, the conversation turns out sillier than ever. “They hate us cause they anus” has ultimately become a classic movie quote we can’t help but love. (Watch)
3. “It’s not a man purse. It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.”
The Hangover (2009)
A quote about: Fashion
Use it when: Someone is hating on your man purse.
Although Alan’s outfit isn’t going to take him to a Fashion Week runway anytime soon, you can’t deny that Zach Galifianakis’ character has the kind of contagious confidence that ends up being strangely inspiring. As the gang head for their first night out in Vegas, he appears with a satchel and his friends are immediately confused by his accessorizing choice. Alan, however, has the perfect answer to justify this glamorous item, and you can’t blame him for trying to look good! (Watch)
4. “So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea.”
Coming to America (1988)
A quote about: Love (and nausea)
Use it when: You’re sick of your lover.
As the king and queen of Zamunda try to convince their son (played by Eddie Murphy) to go through an arranged marriage, they use their own decades-old union as a metaphor for how one can learn to love someone – even if they make you want to puke. Of course, this convinces the prince to run away more than anything else…
5. “Keep the change, ya filthy animal!”
Home Alone (1990)
A quote about: Money
Use it when: You’re at the supermarket till.
As he enjoys his first night alone at home after being accidentally left behind by his family, young Kevin watches his favorite movie in which this famous quote is uttered by a terrifying gangster. And when an unsuspecting guy turns up to deliver pizza, Kevin blasts the same line through the house, followed by the sound of guns being fired. The delivery chap thinks he’s truly in danger and runs away terrified. A classic one everyone knows. (Watch)
6. “I’m fu**ing miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.”
A quote about: Sleep
Use it when: Your boss or teacher asks you what’s up.
As they learn to live alone after spending half their lives with their parents, the two middle-aged brothers Brennan (Will Ferell) and Dale (John C. Reily) realize what adulthood means the hard way. This includes having to wake up before lunchtime. We feel you Dale, we feel you.
7. “Get in my belly!”
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
A quote about: Food
Use it when: You show off your fancy meal on Instagram.
Fat Bastard has two goals in life, one being to chase Austin Powers under the orders of his boss Dr. Evil, and the other being… well, to eat absolutely anything he can find, which somehow also includes babies. In this scene, Fat Bastard thinks Dr. Evil’s Mini-Me looks quite like one and begs to have a bite, as one does. (Watch)
8. “So dark. Are you sure you’re not from the DC universe?”
Deadpool 2 (2018)
A quote about: Negativity
Use it when: Someone is being a negative Nancy.
If there’s one thing Deadpool does wonderfully, it’s breaking the fourth wall and gently (or not so gently) mocking those DC movies. In this sarcastic scene, Wade is being overpowered by the villainous Cable, but still finds it in him to ask if he’s not from the DC Universe. This of course, references the dark color palette blockbusters like Man of Steel or Batman VS Superman that were heavily criticized for. Marvel: 1, DC: 0! (Watch)
9. “Kick names, take ass.”
Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
A quote about: Your talents
Use it when: You’re filling out your resume.
As Iron Man asks the Guardians of the Galaxy what their purpose is, Mantis’ immediate reaction is to say that their job is to… kick names and take ass. Of course, she meant it the other way around, but it wouldn’t be the Guardians of the Galaxy if they didn’t try to be badass, whilst failing adorably. Use this as a caption, or even cooler – as a skill in your resume or yearbook caption (we’re kidding)! (Watch)
10. “Excuse me! I’d like to ASS you a few questions!”
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
A quote about: Needing help
Use it when: You need to ask your teacher a question.
This scene has wildlife detective Ace Ventura speak to a police officer through his rear – a joke that could seem a little childish if Jim Carrey wasn’t so darn good at over-the-top physical comedy. Of course, it makes more sense in context, as the police officer in question is his friend, but it wouldn’t have been surprising if this wasn’t the case. (Watch)
11. “You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!”
Happy Gilmore (1996)
A quote about: Annoying people
Use it when: Someone needs to keep schtum.
In this Happy Gilmore scene, Ben Stiller plays a nursing home staff member who has no time for kindness, which includes denying an innocent grandma her warm glass of milk. The message? Folks, make sure you know what kind of nursing home you’re putting your grandparents in. (Watch)
12. “You stink. You smell like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa.”
A quote about: Christmas
Use it when: Someone is killing the Christmas vibe.
This iconic scene truly encapsulates the spirit of the holidays! The clueless elf Buddy (Will Ferrell) meets a mall Santa and questions his authenticity by not-so-subtly pointing out that he’s just a middle-aged man in a costume… before ripping his fake beard off in front of the kids… and wrestling him. Merry Christmas to you, too! (Watch)
13. “Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?”
The Avengers (2012)
A quote about: Accents
Use it when: You wanna throw shade like Tony Stark.
As Iron Man interrupts Thor and Loki’s fight in The Avengers, Thor tells him that he has no idea what he’s dealing with – meaning he is far too “human” to have a say in their divine quarrel. Tony, of course, gently mocks Thor’s old fashioned use of the English language by throwing what sounds like a Shakespeare quote to his face. Precisely the kind of quip we love Iron Man for, though we don’t think we’d have the guts to say that to a God. (Watch)
14. “You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants.”
Billy Madison (1995)
A quote about: Being cool
Use it when: Erm, someone pees their pants.
In this heart-warming scene, Billy Madison (played by Adam Sandler) sees a kid distraught that he peed his pants and quickly devises a plan to make him feel better. When other kids start mocking him, Billy says peeing one’s pants is actually very cool, which they believe wholeheartedly. We’re not sure 10 year-olds would actually believe this, even coming from an adult, but this scene is still incredibly touching. (Watch)
15. “It’s like a pirate had a baby with an angel.”
Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
A quote about: Love
Use it when: You’re describing your really bad taste.
Infinity War was the opportunity for Marvel heroes to meet each other for the first time…and for Drax (Dave Bautista) to essentially fall in love with Thor’s (AKA Chris Hemsworth) divine looks. What’s more, he goes as far as to compare the Norse God’s extreme manliness to poor Peter Quill who, to him, is just “a guy” (he wasn’t wrong).
16. “One time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin’ outta my butt that day!”
A quote about: Erm, odors?
Use it when: You’re reminiscing about that bad day on the toilet.
If there’s one thing we all love about Donkey, it’s that he simply won’t shut up. Even as Shrek asks him to be quiet, the ogre’s hilarious sidekick can’t help but explain, in detail, how past diets have once wronged him and his stomach. Trust Donkey to tell you precisely what you absolutely, definitely didn’t want to know.
17. “What you doing, son?” – “Nothing. Just chilling, killing.”
Scary Movie (2000)
A quote about: Relaxing
Use it when: You’re chilling…killing (we’re kidding).
Ah, the film where the iconic “whazzuup” line originated from. Scary Movie sees Shorty and Scream have a side-splitting conversation that ends up rather pointless, yet unforgettable. The killer tells it as it is, to which Shorty replies “true, true”. Use this hilarious movie quote when you want to end an awkward conversation. There’s not much to say after hearing that. (Watch)
18. “I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!”
Mean Girls (2004)
A quote about: Moms
Use it when: Your kid accuses you of bad parenting.
It just doesn’t get much cooler than Amy Poehler’s mom character as she welcomes queen bee Regina George’s friends at her lavish home. Glamorous, laid back, and young at heart, she refuses to be as strict as regular parents and even goes as far as to inform the girls that if they want to drink, she’d rather have them do that in the house. Whether as an Instagram bio or to their kids, every mom has used this one-liner at least once. Admit it. (Watch)
19. “Help is on the way, dear!”
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
A quote about: Helping
Use it when: You’re about to save someone’s life.
In what is one of Robin Williams’ greatest movies, Daniel (AKA Mrs. Doubtfire) rushes to help his ex-wife’s new partner who’s choking during a fancy dinner, whilst yelling these iconic words. He shakes Pierce Brosnan’s character with such force, that he ends up losing his prosthetics as well as most of his disguise, thus blowing his cover to save the guy’s life. Don’t tell us you’ve never yelled out these words when helping someone in need… (Watch)
20. “Shutting up, sir.”
Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)
A quote about: Talking too much
Use it when: Someone tells you to keep your trap shut.
Throughout the Star Wars movies, C-3PO is known to speak a bit too much, but in this scene, Uncle Owen has no time for his gibberish and tells him to shut up. Of course, androids don’t always understand the nuances of human speech and poor C-3 takes this order a little bit too literally. (Watch)
21. “We’ve had one, yes. What about second breakfast?”
The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
A quote about: Food
Use it when: You need another round of eggs and bacon.
There’s not much humor in Lord of the Rings, but Merry and Pippin are there for the occasional gag. While leaving the Shire to accompany Frodo and the gang on their adventure across Middle Earth, the two Hobbits ask Aragorn this hilarious question. They want a second breakfast, not realizing that they might have to get used to a far less comfortable way of life while on the road. Of course, Aragorn’s blank expression answers their question. (Watch)
22. “I love lamp.”
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
A quote about: Love
Use it when: You’re over humans and prefer objects.
Brick (Steve Carrell) is just a weatherman trying to fit into society despite having a few communication problems. His idea of human interaction? Looking at random objects in an office and saying he loves them. A statement to which Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) hilariously replies – “Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?” (Watch)
23. “This morning, he woke up dead.”
Scary Movie 3 (2003)
A quote about: Life
Use it when: You REALLY want to confuse someone.
This nonsensical exchange between Scary Movie 3’s Mahalik and CJ is one of the most hysterical scenes in film history. Continued with: “How in the hell do you wake up dead?…’Cause you’re alive when you go to sleep…You’re telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive?…You can’t go to bed dead!”, this quote will make you feel disoriented, but end up leaving you chuckling for days. (Watch)
24. “Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!”
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
A quote about: Power
Use it when: You want to boast how strong you are.
Nobody should make you bleed your own blood, right? You can always rely on Ben Stiller to deliver the most hilarious lines. This one is said by his character White Goodman in Dodgeball after he’s hit against the wall by his love interest. Absolutely absurd, but downright funny. (Watch)
25. “Oopsie! I had a poopsie!”
White Chicks (2004)
A quote about: Erm, poopsies?
Use it when: You can’t hold it in.
As silly as this movie quote is, there’s no denying how priceless it is. When Tiffany Wilson (AKA a dude dressed as a lady) tries to stop Latrell from kissing her, she throws in a fake fart. He’s obviously put off and she replies with “oopsie, I had a poopsie”. A great quote to use to put off that awkward admirer…or when you don’t make it to the toilet in time. (Watch)
26. “Spiders…the spiders…they want me to tap-dance. And I don’t want to tap-dance!”
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
A quote about: Phobias
Use it when: The spiders are getting the best of you.
We’ve all had that terrible, terrible nightmare of our biggest phobias. Ron’s? Spiders…that are making him tap-dance. Our favorite Harry Potter character utters this line upon waking up from a bad dream, and Harry hilariously replies, “Tell those spiders, Ron”, and Ron says, “Yeah, tell them…I’ll tell them” before going back to sleep. Admit it, you watched this scene over and over again. (Watch)
27. “I like to make sexy time!”
A quote about: Love
Use it when: You’re on that first date.
Borat is brim-full of funny movie quotes, but this one-liner stands out most for us. This Kazakhstani legend sure knows how to declare his passion for intimacy, and he says it in the most unique of ways. “Sexy time” has probably become one of the most used comedy movie phrases, and it’s all thanks to this ridiculously funny film.
28. “So if you’re from Africa, why are you white?”
Mean Girls (2004)
A quote about: Stupid people
Use it when: NEVER. Never use this quote.
Want to die laughing? Turn on Mean Girls – there’s a bunch of funny movie quotes to last you a lifetime in there. If we had to pick another one (in addition to “I’m a cool mom”), it would be this shockingly ignorant one by Karen Smith. When she learns that Cady Heron is from Africa, she stupidly asks about the color of her skin. In the words of Gretchen Wieners – “Oh my god Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.” (Watch)
29. “He is the sweetest guy. Have you ever looked into his eyes? It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.”
A quote about: Love
Use it when: You have the hots for someone.
Superbad is one of the silliest, yet best movies around and you can always turn to it for some brilliant humor. When comparing himself to his love interest’s exes, Seth (Jonah Hill) gives us a pretty vivid picture of how wonderful this guy is. I mean, the first time you heard The Beatles? That’s gotta be some life-changing stuff. (Watch)
30. “My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.” – “That’s just something ugly people say.”
Liar Liar (1997)
A quote about: Beauty
Use it when: Inner beauty is a lie.
As harsh as this movie quote is, we can’t help but chuckle under our breath. A classic line about “beauty” is immediately debunked and darkened. I mean, it could be true. Maybe Jim Carrey wasn’t lying when he said this. A funny quote to live by (ouch!)! (Watch)
Here you have it, 30 of the funniest movie quotes ever written for the big screen! We absolutely advise you to keep them handy for whenever you want to impress your friends during a dinner party. Or just use them in your everyday life – who cares about social standards, right?
Of course, let us know in the comments if you think we’ve forgotten any hilarious Hollywood phrases that also make you laugh for days.
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