After being kept in the dark for so long, we’ve finally been let in on American Horror Story’s season 6 theme. Titled “Roanoke”, this series will be based on one of the country’s biggest historical mysteries of all time – the disappearance of the Roanoke colony.
Set in the modern-day era, fictional “true events” of Roanoke are told in documentary style, switching between sit-down interviews and dramatic re-enactments. By the looks of the first episode, this season promises more screams and a great taste of terror. Shall we let the horror begin? Delve in to our first American Horror Story: Roanoke recap…
In Chapter 1 of “My Roanoke Nightmare”, we meet Shelby and Matt, a couple reciting their spooky experience in a haunted house (this one is definitely creepier than Murder House).
The dramatization of their story starts off wretchedly. Matt is seriously injured and Shelby suffers a miscarriage after getting attacked on the street.
In search for a better life, they bid to buy an abandoned farm house built in 1792. I’ll be damned if that doesn’t scream haunted already.
In an attempt to win the house over a group of hillbillies at the auction, Matt offers all his savings and finally nabs the creepy-looking mansion for him and his wife. Let’s just say those hillbillies are sore losers…
Things take a turn for the weird when Matt and Shelby are disturbed by screaming pig sounds and thumps at the door during an intimate moment. In typical horror movie cliche, Matt goes out and sees his front yard trashed. Someone – or something throws scraps at him from the bushes and of course, he blames the hillbillies.
Angry hillbillies can’t be the cause of what happens next though. Shelby is freaked out when its starts raining teeth. Yes, teeth!
By the time Matt gets home, the human teeth hailstone is over and no remains are found.
Matt leaves for a business trip and leaves Shelby alone – in their haunted house – in the middle of nowhere. Cue the creepiness!
After seeing two ghostly nurses strolling through her hallway, Shelby sees no harm in chilling in her outdoor hot tub – at night. Surprise, surprise, Shelby is attacked and dunked under the water by a group of people wielding torches and weapons. I would have ran TF out of that house in no time, but hey, that’s me.
Matt rushes home and calls the police but since no evidence is found, they’re convinced Shelby’s mind is playing tricks on her.
Things get increasingly strange as the episode progresses. Matt is woken up to sounds again and goes out to find a slaughtered pig on his doorstep. Seriously WTF?! Instead of calling the police, Matt buries it and doesn’t say a word to Shelby. He’s adamant that these hillbillies are playing pranks on them so he arranges for his pill-popping, ex-cop sister – Lee (oh hey Angela Bassett!) to wife-sit while he’s away.
Noises rock the house while Shelby is cooking. Someone is moving knives and rolling wine bottles around the house and the two ladies can’t help but blame each other. Thankfully, Matt set up security cameras so he can keep an eye on the place while he’s away. That night, he sees a group of torch-wielding villagers approaching the house. He calls Shelby but she’s too busy arguing with Lee to hear the phone. Uh-oh…
What follows is utterly insane. The ladies hear noises coming from the basement so they head down. I mean, do these people NOT watch horror movies? Haven’t they learnt to RUN out the front door instead of DOWN to the basement at times like this?!
Anyway, they discover the noise is coming from an old VHS. The footage shows a figure wearing a pig’s head hovering over the camera man while he shouts “I finally got you, you son of a b-”
I have a feeling Piggy Man will have a lead role this season…
The ladies run upstairs to find their hallway covered in Blair Witch-type voodoo stick dolls. Shelby wants out so she immediately gets in the car and escapes.
On her way out, she runs over an old woman played by Kathy Bates. In a panic, Shelby gets out of the car (another stupid idea!!) and sees the old lady, looking unharmed, wandering into the woods.
She follows behind (poor decision number 100) but eventually loses sight of the old lady. Soon enough, Shelby is out of breath and lost in the woods. She runs and runs only to trip over and see that the forest floor is moving! Breathing! Shifting!
The horror really kicks in when Shelby is suddenly surrounded by more stick dolls and a group of colonists holding weapons and torches.
Among them is the old woman, a mean-looking dude and a guy with no scalp (EW!). Shelby is left with no choice but to scream…
So that was our first daunting dose of American Horror Story: Roanoke. Terrifying indeed. Will this season continue with the documentary style story telling? Will we see more Lady Gaga and Evan Peters next week? At least we know Matt and Shelby make it out alive.
We can’t wait for the scares to get scarier…
Next Episode: Chapter 2