You know what? I wouldn’t mind if Negan caved my skull in with a bat. That’s how miserable this week’s episode of The Walking Dead made me feel. I mean, how boring can boring get? We’re six weeks deep into season 7 and all we get are filler episodes about characters we barely know or (sorry Tara) even care about!
My apologies, rant over. I’ll quit raging. Let’s get into my recap of “Swear”…
Jumping from one camp to another with different characters has me lost. Talking of Lost, I literally thought I’d tuned in for an episode of it at the start of this week’s The Walking Dead – hence the beach with a washed up body. The body turns out to be Tara. “Who’s that” you may ask?
Just a reminder – Tara was Denise’s girlfriend from Alexandria who set off with Heath for a scavenging trip right after the standoff at the Savior’s satellite camp. Turns out, the two drifted apart after they came across a bunch of sand Walkers. Tara was thrown off a bridge and drifted down into the river, unconscious and happened to wash up on a beach on the Atlantic Coast. Right.
Anyway. A young girl named Rachel attempts to kill Tara because apparently she’s “supposed to”. She comes from an all-female community called Oceanside which has a policy of killing walkers as well as humans on sight. Moving on, Rachel is stopped by her fellow camp mate called Cindy who seems to have more of a heart than this 8-year-old, savage little girl.
They leave Tara on the beach but she soon wakes up and creeps on this community of alpha-females. They’ve got a shit loud of armor and boy do they look mean.
Tara is caught and is ambushed by little girls with guns and women with mean faces.
It’s ridiculous how Tara is faced with death but can still laugh and joke around. This may be the producers attempt at trying to add a wee touch of humanity and humor to the show but I’m sorry, this character just. isn’t. funny. In fact, she’s annoying – and I don’t care about her – I just want to know what’s going on with Rick or Daryl, or Carol…
She’s taken into the leader’s home, named Natania (who is Cindy’s grandmother) for questioning. Tara being the klutz that she is, lies and tells Natania that she’s simply a fisher who is out looking for her friend – AKA Heith. Caught in a lie, Tara is forced to admit the truth. She informs Natania and co about Alexandria.
Like Tara, I wondered where all the men of this community were. Apparently Oceanside was attacked by the Saviors, who killed all the males and left them with no choice but to defend themselves as an all-female group.
Upon telling Natania about Alexandria, Tara offers that they join forces to take the Saviors down. Surprisingly, Natania agrees and so sends out two of her campers to make the deal at Alexandria with Tara.
If Negan really does have to battle Oceanside, I’ll tell you one thing – he’s got another thing coming. That little Rachel is a feisty one…
On their way out, Tara decides to make a run for it. The Oceanside girls catch up to her and just when one is about to pull the trigger, she’s beat down by Cindy. “Run” she tells Tara.
During their escape, Cindy makes Tara swear that she won’t tell Alexandria about Oceanside. With the help of Cindy, Tara manages to stroll through a herd of walkers back at the bridge where she last saw Heath. At one point, she thinks she sees him but turns out, it’s just a walker with the same hairstyle. What a freakin’ coincidence! *eyeroll*
Disappointed that she hasn’t found Heath but determined to get back to Alexandria and see Denise (she obvs doesn’t know she’s dead), Tara makes her way back with her new sunglasses.
When she reaches Alexandria’s gates, she’s welcomed by a not-so-happy Eugene. Just by the look on his face, Tara realises what’s happened. Denise is gone.
Later that evening, she’s met by Rosita who as we know, is secretly planning revenge on Negan. All of Alexandria’s guns are gone so she asks Tara if she saw anything on the road that could help them. True to her vow to Cindy, Tara lies and says, “I didn’t see anything like that out there.”
And that’s a wrap. I was so glad when this episode was over. The pace was incredibly, ridiculously and tediously TOO SLOW. I really hope we don’t get another stale episode centered on another boring character.
I mean, there are two episodes left until the mid-season finale. Are The Walking Dead producers saving their budget for a giant, explosive episode? Let’s hope so…
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Next Episode Recap: Sing Me a Song